An Artificially-intelligent Means to Escape Discreetly from the Departmental Holiday Party; guide for the socially awkward
Eve Armstrong
We employ simulated annealing to identify the global solution of a dynamical model, to make a favorable impression upon colleagues at the departmental holiday party...
TESS Photometric Mapping of a Terrestrial Planet in the Habitable Zone: Detection of Clouds, Oceans, and Continents
Rodrigo Luger, Megan Bedell, Roland Vanderspek, Christopher J. Burke
To date, a handful of exoplanets have been photometrically mapped using phase-modulated reflection or emission from their surfaces, but the small amplitudes...
On the Impossibility of Supersized Machines
Ben Garfinkel, Miles Brundage, Daniel Filan, Carrick Flynn, Jelena Luketina, Michael Page, Anders Sandberg, Andrew Snyder-Beattie, Max Tegmark
In recent years, a number of prominent computer scientists, along with academics in fields such as philosophy and physics, have...
A revolution is brewing: observations of TRAPPIST-1 exoplanetary system fosters a new biomarker
M. Turbo-King, B. R. Tang, Z. Habeertable, M. C. Chouffe, B. Exquisit, L. Keg-beer
The recent discovery of seven potentially habitable Earth-size planets around the ultra-cool star TRAPPIST-1 has...
A Neural Networks Approach to Predicting How Things Might Have Turned Out Had I Mustered the Nerve to Ask Barry Cottonfield to the Junior Prom Back in 1997
Eve Armstrong
We use a feed-forward artificial neural network with back-propagation through a single hidden layer to predict Barry Cottonfield's...
On the Utter Irrelevance of LPL Graduate Students: An Unbiased Survey by Steward Observatory Graduate Students
J.J. Charfman, J.B. Bsc, K.A. Eriksen, K. Knierman, A. Leistra, E. Mamajek, J. Monkiewicz, J. Moustakas, J. Murphy, J. Rigby, P.A. Young
We present a new analysis of the irrelevance of Lunar and Planetary Laboratory (LPL) graduate students...
